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A goblin stands guard on the other side of the ridiculously-scary door.

"Grumggg'fr ulgunth de'Nuth!" he demands.

You decide it can't hurt to try to communicate. Momentarily forgetting all the sensitivity training that HR requires, you grunt back "Prung d'Lug hrumpth!" and hope fervently that you said something pithy.

Unfortunately, in modern Goblin this translates roughly to “The tartness of your face sours ripe grapes.” (-8 charisma)

Great job, Shakespeare. You insulted him...but at least you did it in style. What a Comedy of Errors this has turned out to be. (methinks thou deserves +5 wit)

The goblin is far less amused than I at your attempt to communicate. He pulls a wooden lever conveniently located beside him.

A trapdoor opens beneath you.

You fall.

And fall.

And fall.

Eventually, you start to 

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